02: Don Det, Laos

I visited Don Det in Laos in 2014 after my friend Stu, who writes peninsularity.com, suggested it would be a perfect place for me to spend some of the 2-week Christmas break.

“Mate, it’ll be fucking party carnage down there. All them backpackers ripped to the tits. Think about them Swedish girls, eh?” he vehemently spluttered in the Australian accent he has become so known for by those who know him.

Sadly, it was none of the above- a tour of the island revealed its tourist occupants were skint backpackers living off herbal tea and the last 200 pages of Shantaram. While my sunset view shack was only $5, a few hours after I arrived so did my new neighbours- a multi-generational lesbian couple.

Now, I have no problems with lesbians at all and the fact they don’t want to sleep with me doesn’t make them that much different to most straight women.

The younger woman was on the deck outside listening to some really nice music- a love song TO a woman sung BY a WOMAN. Yeah.

Too freaking much.

“Erm excuse me- do you want some of this spliff?” I asked the younger woman.

“Ah, cheers mate- yeah that’ll be lovely. Nice one.”

Her partner was hovering.

“Really nice music this- what is it?”

“Oh,” the older woman said. “Actually it’s by Bonobo.”

The last word she drew out, both annoyed and pleased I was seemingly taking an interest in this lesbian icon of Bonobo.

“Really? What’s the song called? I probably have it on my iPod.” I said.

“The Keeper.”

After a bit of searching, I found it. “Never heard it though,” I explained.

The older woman seemed perplexed. “So, you mean to say you’ve actually heard of Bonobo?”

“Well sure,” I said. “Simon Green, I think his name actually is. He’s a really respected producer.”

The older woman decided she’d call it an early night right then and there. “I hope you won’t be too long. You know I don’t like being woken up,” she glared at her younger partner.

We finished the spliff and tucked in.

In the morning I got out of there and left for Pattaya.

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