God vs Atheists

If God really existed everywhere then we’d literally keep tripping over him wherever we went. Yet we don’t so therefore there is no evidence of his existence. At least we have evidence of Richard Dawkins’ existence, through articles, books and […]

Beatles? More Like Foetals!*

*yeah, you see I tried to think of some kind of The Sun-like headline that rhymes and therefore must be true, but I got stuck at ‘foetals’ because if you work through the alphabet, this is the only word that […]

Now in 3-D

Thanks to whoever just pointed their finger right at me at close quarters. You have reminded me that just having eyes gives a convincing illusion of 3-D and therefore I don’t need to buy any expensive VR equipment. Cheers!

Hey, You, Whitehouse

I’m currently listening (once) again to Pink Floyd’s ‘Pigs- Three Different Ones’. I gather it has gained a new audience and new-found meaning in this last twelve crazy months with many (including Roger Waters himself) equating the first verse with […]

Make Yourself Uncomfortabler

Starting the saga of that bizarre love triangle thing I found myself in last year. You missed the preamble. Click on the ‘uncomfortabler’ category. I’m sure you know how the internet works so won’t say any more. —- All I […]

Trumpton Riot

Undeniable photographic proof of Bill Clinton’s current whereabouts- he’s in Vietnam disguising himself as Donald Trump, in a wig that can only be described as ‘unconventional’.

Own Entertainment

  I’ve been making my own entertainment lately with just shadow finger puppets on the wall. I managed to do most of ‘The Hobbit’ by fudging the dwarf numbers.   For Bilbo I used my pinkie.   Smaug was just […]

Sigh. Mon.

My friend Simon, who I have referenced many times here, is no longer my friend Simon. We agreed, before he disappeared in a bizarre froth of pissed-up and vinegar, that I won’t cause any problems for him and he won’t […]

Live Forever

Freddie Mercury once rather bombastically bellowed the question, “Who wants to live forever?” (it was in that 80s movie Highlander.) Well, ME for one! – provided I was 10 years younger than I am now and then could just leave […]

Eyes Cream

“I scream, you scream, we ALL scream for ice cream!” As a result, I have NEVER eaten ice cream and I don’t see how anyone WOULD.         It sounds a disgusting practice.

No Picture

No Beer For Jon

Originally scripted by Samuel Beckett in 1971 for BBC2’s programme about the arts, ‘The Arts Programme’, ‘No Beer for Jon’ is an existentialist absurdist drama which turns the whole idea of white patriarchical imperialist misogyny on its head then tears […]


As my name was just given to me by my parents (without consulting ME, I might hasten to ADD) and therefore imposed on me by Patriarchy and that, I refuse to answer to my own name any more. I’m currently […]

Starship Poopers

For those who have yet to find a use for the slo-mo function on their iPhone: From the right kind of angle, a bowel movement can be quite epic. Combined with an orchestral soundtrack, it’s a lot like Kubrick’s 2001 […]

Musical Doof

Somewhere out there tonight, Musical Youth are gigging. A back room of a pub in Slough or a lock-up garage in a South London back street. Now re-badged Musical Middle-aged People, the lies they told on Blue Peter have taken their […]