Ho! Ho! Hopeless about buying presents for your loved ones this Xmas yet still have money and/or a credit card?
Christmas is coming.
The goose is getting fat.
So am I, bit my bit.
I should really do something about that.
“Please buy my book. You can buy it for broad-minded adults as a lovely festive gift or even for the narrow-minded in-laws you hope to never see again. The main thing is to just buy it. And more than once. Thanks.”
– Ron ‘Figgy Pudding’ Gridcharts
Yes, Christmas can only mean one thing – an avalanche of gift buying and giving that is pretty much all that is keeping both global capitalism and Christianity still going in these fraught days where parents are just as likely to be taking their kids to meet Satan as Santa and his elf slaves.
What’s the answer?
I don’t know.
I truly don’t.
But what I do know is that you can buy several copies of my awesome book and give it to friends, loved ones, grandpas and even the family pet.
Hell, you can even treat yourself to your own copy. Read it during your daily commute (unless you drive) or perhaps when taking a dump- it’s randomly ordered anyway with each section about the right length for a typical poo, so no need to worry about finding your place before it’s bombs away with not so much as a sentence started.
Impress strangers with your ability to read by letting the tome perch magnificently in your hand, whether in town or abroad; intellectuals will naturally respect and admire you (until you let them read some of it). Others will be amazed at its snappy page loading times, whether accessing text or images- quicker than any wifi and without your ever needing to plug in an adaptor, pay subscription fees or download endless updates. (Be sure to make a big deal of this as that kind of organic word-of-mouth marketing is priceless.)
-it truly is a multi-purpose manual for urban warriors, zeitgeist zenarchists and all who like dirty jokes and off-kilter narratives. Even the illiterate can join in the fun by looking at the pictures and making up their own stories or just doing a bit of colouring in (yeah, I’d meant to get on that whole ‘adult colouring-in’ craze but missed it by about 3 years).
Please don’t give any copies to children, however, because the book is shockingly offensive in places- even though Bryon Fear’s cover is modelled on one of those lovely Christmas annuals that British kids got back in the Olden Days.
I can’t promise that it will change the size of your willy or boobs; or change your gender; or even change your mindset away from that ever-growing sense of despair except when reading it. There is a chance, however, that you will piss yourself laughing and so might have to change your nether garments.
If you could buy something this profound in a bookshop, you would doubtless get some change back from the cashier also. But it’s too damn subversive for bookshops and they DON’T want you to possess this knowledge.
This book is the most explosive thing you will ever read, outside of industrial firework safety instructions and, oh. I dunno. Words made out of gunpowder.
Spontaneous human combustion is a very real risk to the reader and one I am taking absolutely zero liability for. It’s more likely to be faulty fairy lights on the tree.
Click on the link here to purchase.
Do so and make me momentarily gleeful about the three San Miguel Lights I will be able to purchase with the royalties.
What’s more, you will be well on your way to building your very own Make Yourself Uncomfortable library collection. So far, there’s just the one volume so it’s still dead easy to be a completionist.
The cost, you say?
Pah, a trifling
£7.99 / $US10.06 plus P&P.
SOME amazon UK REVIEWS:
“With a title like that, this book was never going to be an easy read, or so I thought. Happily, it turned out to be a highly entertaining read, which made me laugh out loud at times. And wince a bit too admittedly. Ron Gridcharts has managed to make what could have been a tale of abject autobiographical despair very engaging and funny too in places. The chapters are short and well written to leave you wanting more, and the glimpses into different stages of Gridcharts’ crazy life are given sparingly and unsentimentally. Gridcharts writes about lack of control with great control and certainly doesn’t spare himself, presenting the ups and downs of his drug-driven, cash-strapped twenties and thirties in dark, graphic detail. The chapters are interspersed with original cartoons, hand-drawn with great skill and veering from rude to silly to groan-inducing. Guaranteed to get you sniggering. I was definitely left wondering what happens next, and after a debut like this I can’t wait to see what Gridcharts’ talent will produce. I’d definitely recommend this book; original, memorable, courageous and unlike any other book you’ve read before.”
“Ron’s Jamie Oliver ‘interlude’ had me in stitches and the Stratford Bear episode (with accompanying drawing – just for the kids) was genius. This is the story of (almost) every rural market town teenager’s struggle.”
“An enjoyable read. This is a writer who manages to engage, amuse and shock. I look forward to more of his work.”
SOME amazon USA REVIEWS:
“Gridcharts’ stories will make you uncomfortable, and the ensuing laughter is like cheap therapy. His prose works like an oddly calibrated jack in the box, and his wit is well sprung. The authorities should be well advised to keep an eye on this book and its author.”
“Mr Gridcharts lays bear the sordid tales of a life lived close to a certain kind of edge. Acerbic tongue fairly burning a hole through cheek, he relates youthful tales of growing up the son of a publican in England, his forays into working for a roving drama troupe, and his psychonautic explorations both dark and light. Always funny, occasionally moving, and actually very well-written this is well-deserving of an armchair and a cup of tea, or a bottle of wine, or whatever else it takes to get you through the day. Top marks, and I eagerly await the next one!”
“I read “Make yourself uncomfortable”. I took it on Holiday with me to Crete. I thought it would be a nice read on the beach. Well I ended up reading it all on the flight and within the first day…I couldn’t put it down. Very funny, I was laughing out loud, embarrisingly in the airplane on the flight out. Ron writes with remarkable intelligence and humanity about things that normally should make you squirm but actually make you laugh through his irresistable dark humour. I thouroughmy enjoyed all the stories and cartoons (famous people having sex is one of my favorites), great variety. I specifically enjoyed the irony of the title, as there is nothing more comforting than reading about other peoples discomfort. Great job, and I look forward to the next book.”
“Make Yourself Uncomfortable is a collection of memoirs written by a hard luck, sardonic misfit. It’s about growing up in the UK in the Nineties and Noughties. About mispent youth and drug-fuelled excess. About unfulfilling desk jobs and living for the weekend. It’s also very funny indeed and deserves your eyeballs. Grab yourself a copy, you won’t be disappointed.”
“Quirky, witty and surprisingly touching. I thoroughly enjoyed this laugh-out funny story of young man’s coming of age, complete with encounters of the supernatural, and mild-altering substances, not necessarily at the same time! Have to confess I didn’t understand any of the comics… but I put that down to being over 40 and not having done enough drugs in my life.”
Welcome to boys and girls everywhere!
Thanks for having a few quid to spare
On this lovely book version – a rare delight –
Of what you could have read for free at the site.
There’s thrills and chills on every page-
Except for the blank ones- whatever your age.
It’s a rare panacea- a balm for the lonely
But suitable for Mature Readers only.
There are cartoons and stories
To get you all sniggering,
Unless you’re the type who just
Finds it all triggering;
In which case then just put it down unread,
Take some aspirin and go straight to bed.
(You can also find it on kindle at Amazon but how would you give that to someone at Xmas? Frankly, you’ll look rather tight and unseasonal if you do so.)