Bye, Mutie!

More Hollywood Babble-on:

Dexy’s Midnight Runner’s Kevin Rowland is remaking his top 80s hit ‘Come On Eileen’ as a Bukkake video for the Japanese retro crowd.

No word yet on whether the original Eileen will reprise her role but let’s hope so/not.*

Kevin says he will be happy just to direct but admits he may want to get more hands on (his cock) once the cameras start rolling.



Below: Kevin’s last foray into porn- two hours of him just standing there staring at you and looking like in the picture below is one of the worst-received adult entertainment features of all time.

It ranks alongside ‘Pol Pot’s Pop Shots’ and ‘Christopher Biggin’s So Fuckee So Goodee’  as a nadir in smut generally and for Kevin, in particular.

‘My Beauty’ was meant to have been his ‘big comeback’ but, during the first night live showing, he couldn’t even get beyond floppy let alone stage a successful come back, forward or in any other direction.

Noted porn baron Crusty Pusbuckets,  who was being fellated at the time by a whoop of bonobos, dismissed My Beauty at its launch party with the withering shout-out “Bye, Mutie!”

This was enough to make Kevin’s onstage testicles visibly retract into his abdominal cavity much as he invisibly retracted from public life in the U.K.

In Japan it was a different story and there he never really went away as a massive cultural presence: cosplay ‘tinker in dungarees’ parties are still popular and a DVD of Brush Strokes (for which he did the theme) is even on sale.

“I’m hoping it will break down some misunderstandings between East and West,” Kevin says hopefully. “I mean like them Jap girls are well fit but when they’re into it you have to turn the sound down cos they make that noise that sounds a bit rapey.”

“Apart from a modicum  of “Too Rye Aye”ing there won’t be much in the way of sound as the girl will be muffled under thick layers of man cream.”











*delete as expedient.

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