Best Brand Name Ever..

..and here’s MY two bits!* – – –   – – – – –   *it has been pointed out to me that there are three ‘bits’ of beef in the picture on the can so the name makes NO […]

Eyes Cream

  “I scream, you scream, we ALL scream for ice cream!”         As a result, I have NEVER eaten ice cream and I don’t see how anyone WOULD.         It sounds a disgusting practice.

Fat People

Fat people used to be great!- remember Shirley Crabtree (Big Daddy, of course) and Hattie Jacques? They spellbound the nation with their entertaining ways. These days it seems all fat people want to is just sit around with diabetes watching […]

Spirit Cooking

Word to the wise: if you’re tempted to try spirit cooking at home, please please please don’t do it with methylated. I just did and in the resulting fireball have lost my eyebrows

Myeik Yourself Thinner

Despite having lived in East Asia for over ten years, I tend to avoid eating the local cuisine where possible. This isn’t due to some politically-correct fear of cultural appropriation or some right-wing fear of cultural assimilation but due to […]

Distraction is Action

All too often, especially if you are sufficiently ample that Speak Your Weight machines just go “ooff!”, it’s easy just to collapse onto the couch of despair surrounded by pizza boxes, empty Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended Creme with whipped […]

Eat Shit & Diet

As a friend (and I use the word sparingly) has threatened to get this out before me, I may as well reveal that I am currently working on a diet book in honour of my losing nearly 20 kilos in […]