Hey, You, Whitehouse

I’m currently listening (once) again to Pink Floyd’s ‘Pigs- Three Different Ones’. I gather it has gained a new audience and new-found meaning in this last twelve crazy months with many (including Roger Waters himself) equating the first verse with […]

Musical Doof

Somewhere out there tonight, Musical Youth are gigging. A back room of a pub in Slough or a lock-up garage in a South London back street. Now re-badged Musical Middle-aged People, the lies they told on Blue Peter have taken their […]

Bye, Mutie!

More Hollywood Babble-on: Dexy’s Midnight Runner’s Kevin Rowland is remaking his top 80s hit ‘Come On Eileen’ as a Bukkake video for the Japanese retro crowd. No word yet on whether the original Eileen will reprise her role but let’s […]

The World is Full of Our Souls

My iTunes music collection has 17,523 files in it. What chance, then, that Adam Freeland’s ‘We Want Your Soul’ was directly followed by Aphex Twin’s ‘Come to Daddy’ (entire lyrics “I want your soul. I will eat your soul”)? Something […]

Conspiracy Music

I totally forgot until now, when it came up on random play, that this was gonna be my intro music to my very own conspiracy channel on youtube. Quite dark and not bad. Not bad at all. £30 to you, […]

Lennon and On and On

If that John Lennon had cared more about making money than lolling about in his pit with skank Yono, maybe he wouldn’t be dead now (except for old age). He had already made ten or twenty quid from the British […]

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Tears for Fears

Way back in the 80’s Tears For Fears claimed ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’. Well, I for one never did. Could I get legal aid in suing them for defamation of character? And do they have any money left? […]

Small Faces?

Is it too late to point out that 60s band The Small Faces actually had normal-sized faces? I’ve just measured them with a ruler and am on the verge of alerting Trading Standards.   UPDATE: As it has been pointed […]

Touch My Bum

How We Used to Xmas Shockingly, this was Christmas 2003. Since then, I have long-since left the UK, HMV have gone bankrupt and the Cheeky Girls are now residing in the ‘where are they now?’ file. Simon Cowell, on the […]

Mind Gorilla

So I’ve been listening to that John Lennon. Mind Games, he calls it. I’ll post a link in case you don’t know the song in question. In it he categorically and repeatedly (to the point of tedium, frankly, like he’d […]

Not a Belieber

Nocturnal Sex Fiend writes: Monday Is it me but when I hear the name Justin Bieber my blood pressure rises & I feel aggressive. Do u think it’s normal to hate someone u don’t know that much. Osama bin laden […]

Glen Coinlid’s Last Emission

Clearly, this wasn’t my last contact with Suede’s Neil Codling’s Glen Coinlid. We had been friends at secondary school and on into university until he fired everybody connected to his previous life at the point he entered the music industry. […]

Burmese Dancing Girls

I was recently invited to the graduation party of Myeik University’s Chemistry Department, which was several hours of musical skits such as this, performed by the graduates. It was quite a contrast from my own graduation (several hours of heavy […]

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The Time Has Come

And so we come to the meat and two veg of the site and really the point where things truly did spiral out of control. In 2004, my life became so bad- living in London, trudging its thankless miles- for […]

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Mumbo Jumbo

My tribute to the great fraud and hack magician Aleister Crowley. Listen here: And download by right-clicking on this word here. — “Don’t as thou won’t.” “If thou do then whoop de fookin do.”  

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My Pee Pee E.P.

Another in my series of tenuously rhyming E.P. releases, providing a steady stream of relief for those who are bursting to go. (If it smells like Sugar Puffs, please consult a physician.) 1. WE CONTINUE DOING SEX 2. WAGE SLAVE […]