Speccy Twat

Some facking bloke came up ta me the other day and he said, “ello Alan.” I said, “You wot?” He said, “ello Alan.” Just like that. I said, “Don’t you facking ‘ello Alan’ me,” I said. I said, “Don’t you […]

Touch My Bum

How We Used to Xmas Shockingly, this was Christmas 2003. Since then, I have long-since left the UK, HMV have gone bankrupt and the Cheeky Girls are now residing in the ‘where are they now?’ file. Simon Cowell, on the […]

Michael Moore

Fair use warning: while I have zero evidence to suggest Michael Moore actually IS a pedo, he DOES look like one. Further disclaimer: it’s satire, right. The last thing I want for my blog is it for it to be […]

Bear Grylls

If I was that Bear Grylls I wouldn’t be stumbling round jungles and eating rats. I’d be shopping at Waitrose and diversifying my investment portfolio.

Question to the Guys, Here

You don’t need to answer. I’ll just take your silence as compliance and register a big fat “yes” against your IP address. (PS: I am in my safe space now, so whateves)

Glen Coinlid’s Last Emission

Clearly, this wasn’t my last contact with Suede’s Neil Codling’s Glen Coinlid. We had been friends at secondary school and on into university until he fired everybody connected to his previous life at the point he entered the music industry. […]

Madonna (again)

Nocturnal Sex Fiend writes: I met this old chap in the Duck last night. He’s been drinking there for a few months, just never said hello. Anyway after about 8 pints I said hello and got chatting: the usual drunk, […]

Tale of 2 Garys

I am now 100% conviced that Gary Numan became, bit by bit, Gary Oldman. As the ageing process took effect, synth-pop pioneer gave way to grumpy soliloquist (and Commissioner Gordon). Has anyone ever seen the two together? I think not […]

Dom Joly (Off My Trolly?)

A fairly interesting Facebook chat I had with Dom Joly, a famous comedian and media pundit in the UK, regarding Jeremy Corbyn’s Traingate episode this week, where the current leader of the Labour Party either did or didn’t deliberately sit […]


Why would Hillary Clinton’s website have a hidden message seeking to recruit top programmers to help her in her “18 month, nationally televised hackathon”? I took this screengrab just now after going to her site and viewing the source. Try […]

George Sore Arse

http://soros.dcleaks.com/ In case you don’t know, shadowy globalist George Soros’ various front organisations have had all their communications leaked. They provide proof of his co-ordination of world events and his control of puppet politicians. He is indirectly responsible for my […]

Banksy’s Dismaland

A trip I took round Banksy’s Dismaland, a pop-up ‘bemusement park’ in Weston-Super-Mare that was billed as ‘The UK’s most disappointing new visitor attraction!’ in August last year. This was a bittersweet experience in many ways as family trips to […]

Tony Bleurgh on TV

Hi guys! Remember me? Of course you do, if you’ve paid even the slightest attention to important people at any stage in the last oh, I dunno, twenny thirty years, yeah, something like that? And I know how amazed you […]

God Shave The Queen

(London, England) Centuries of Royal Protocol were overturned this week when Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, visiting some hospital or something, revealed to astonished dignitaries what until now had remained one of the British monarchy’s most closely-guarded secrets. For the first […]