Happy New Year

My upcoming holiday in Thailand, where I finally escape Myeik, coincides with Thai New Year- Songkran. This might sound joyous but is actually millions of people pouring water over each other for days on end and numberless hordes of farang […]

King of Swing

Swing Club in Bangkok is as underground as a night club can be without actually being under the ground. It never advertises or promotes itself and has no desire or need to. You can find it listed as a night […]

Diseased Pervert

With less than twelve hours to go until my next visa run to Thailand- cunningly wrapped around some public holiday in Myanmar or other (and I had to scream “Fucking bastards!” in the Head of School’s office when they originally […]

Christmas Gin 5

With Gin a distant memory now (this was ten minutes into the ferry journey), the holiday settled into a far more relaxed yet dramatically-uninteresting groove. I hear this is known as the ‘falling motion’. Orange finally got his play on New […]

Christmas Gin 4

(In which I nearly conclude this sorry tale- Part One is here) I was poking around at my fried eggs and wondering why the fuck Thai people never cook them properly and have they ever heard of salmonella and why […]

Christmas Gin 3

Despite it being the undoubted highlight of our trip to Koh Phangan, I remember very little of the Jungle Party on Christmas Day, what with one thing and another. I’m going to move straight on with the narrative before the […]

Christmas Gin 2

Part One of this story is here. Haad Rin was full to bursting with the Christmas crowd: groups of twenty-somethings dressed in Santa hats, drunk and covered in typical tattoos under their Singha wifebeaters. A Gordian Knot of Israelis were […]

Christmas Gin 1

Christmas 2014, and to those who may accuse me of being repetitive with my choice of Thailand yet again as a holiday destination, I say this: you try living in the Middle East and see what vacations you fancy after […]

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Mr Double on Holiday

The redoubtable Mr Double awakens with a gurgle, blank emptiness becoming conscious awareness in a heartbeat. Lying in bed, he feels for his glasses, coughs and lets out a stale ale fart. He pads to the bathroom to piss and […]