Admirable Ebola

Only one table left in that tiny restaurant and that awkward moment of deciding ownership when it is claimed at exactly the same time. Retired-looking white guy. Tourist. “I’m here waiting for someone so I’m okay to share the table,” […]

Disappointing Christmas

If Christmas is a disappointment this year, remember even Jesus had a disappointing Christmas, squatting with farm animals and getting age-inappopriate gifts.   Christmas has been fairly so-so here in Vietnam. I thought I had to work anyway then a […]

That B&W Challenge

A recent Facebook challenge has been 7 black & white photos in 7 days. I was nominated for this by UK-based artist and photographer Paul Stork, who I’ve become friends with via Facebook. (I look forward to meeting him when in […]

Saigon Riverfront

A3 charcoal on paper. I just drew this but it is of the riverside in Saigon three or four years ago. The middle area- which was some kind of scrubland- has since been filled in with more high-rises. Some have […]

Japanese Backstreets

I had to go find a visa agent who can do me a 12-month extension on my current 6-month business visa here in Vietnam. He charges me $365 for a 12-month extension and pays the police $350, thereby making $15. […]

A Hem

Actually it’s two or three different “hem”s around Bui Vien Street in Ho Chi Minh City.

Uncomfortabler Chapter One and a Half

Make Yourself Uncomfortabler: Chapter One and a Half   Please note: in the interests of pretending this is a work of fiction, I’ve decided to change people’s names around, including my own. This means I can bravely hide behind the […]

Best Brand Name Ever..

..and here’s MY two bits!* – – –   – – – – –   *it has been pointed out to me that there are three ‘bits’ of beef in the picture on the can so the name makes NO […]

Trumpton Riot

Undeniable photographic proof of Bill Clinton’s current whereabouts- he’s in Vietnam disguising himself as Donald Trump, in a wig that can only be described as ‘unconventional’.

Colours, Man

Spotted in Vietnam. Check out the colours, man… — “Hey gang- yes it’s me, TV’s Noel Edmonds. I’ve been busy writing a book about cosmic ordering and numbers or something in time for the Christmas market. But let’s face it, […]

No Picture

No Beer For Jon

Originally scripted by Samuel Beckett in 1971 for BBC2’s programme about the arts, ‘The Arts Programme’, ‘No Beer for Jon’ is an existentialist absurdist drama which turns the whole idea of white patriarchical imperialist misogyny on its head then tears […]

Poo World Order

I am drinking coffee at a relaxed joint when I suddenly need to get up for what is not the first of the day’s poos and is at an unseemly hour. Unlike earlier poos in this alimentary cycle, it has […]

Viet Namaste

I was going to write something really good here- full of subtle allusion, improbable swings in register and meaning switchbacking along every sentence to the point where even I don’t know how the paragraphs went like that or what they […]

Advice

“Try posting when you’re sober occasionally. If you’re trying for a shock value, it wears a bit thin when you’re all over the fucking place, and just being needlessly insulting and childish. You think nobody knows about Monsanto et al. […]

Happy New Year

My upcoming holiday in Thailand, where I finally escape Myeik, coincides with Thai New Year- Songkran. This might sound joyous but is actually millions of people pouring water over each other for days on end and numberless hordes of farang […]

Yummy Nums

And so I bid farewell to Vietnam and am about to live and work on the Andaman Coast of Myanmar in a region that only started allowing visitors three years ago. Concerns are: Will the food be edible? Will there […]

Hello Kitty

Hu’ong Vy Restaurant, Saigon. “Hey here’s another one. The Doctor Who theme. It’s classic, man,” says Hello Kitty Teacher spitting another youtube video from his tinny Bluetooth speakers. “I teach the street children. They’re all my special friends,” he says, […]