Cumming on the Christmas Shoppers

Nocturnal Sex Fiend writes:

I’m going seagulling today off the multi storey.

A bunch of us get drunk and go up to the top of the car park & wank over the sides.

My pickled chum Mick is 71 on Christmas Day & he’s the champion.

He can shoot both barrels with one stroke. Fires like a gun. A dirty, messy, horrible, veiny purple weapon. Nasty.

Last year he produced a massive load that dropped 250 feet & struck a young girl in the face. Loads of it. It was the perfect shot. Bullseye.

He said he’d been saving up the load for weeks. Been eating a lot of fruit. Pineapples.

They look up & we’re all there laughing & mocking but it’s presumed the gulls dropped the white stuff. 

Unless the loads are analysed by the Police we’ll always get away with it so we’ll be there cumming over the Christmas shoppers for the foreseeable future.

It’s become a tradition. Our way of celebrating the birth of our lord the baby Jesus.

I got an ugly disabled old cunt last time riding his mobility scooter. 
Hit his bald wrinkly head & oozed down over his black raincoat. 

He just carried on bitterly rolling onwards covered in spunk into the masses.

PS Incidentally, Mick, 71 is a Santa Claus!

He’s got the full kit & he loves all the boys ‘n girls.

Works all the area.

£7.50 an hour but he does it because it makes him very, very happy.

Had a career in children’s services & care homes.

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