Day 300 or Something: World, Don’t Shut Your Mouth

Thin on content yet with the same misanthropic bile running through it like the words ‘RATHER CHAVVY’ do through a stick of Blackpool rock- that’s the site right now.

Apologies. I’ve been living in isolation in the jungles of Myanmar for eight months.

The novelty wore off seven and a half months ago. I can’t talk to the locals because they have zero English beyond shouting “Hello!”, “Hi!” and “How are you!” at me as they zip past my always sweating and often swearing frame on their scooters.

I try to not snap “Oh just fuck off!” back at them. Usually, I manage to keep it in check but not always. It’s not their fault. I am literally the only white man who lives here, bar a German tour guide who at least gets to chat to the seven or eight tourists who stumble upon Myeik each few days. I have no such joy.

I spin out material through interactions and contact with people much like the spider in the kitchen spins out its sticky web: bum-wise. I can pull any old shit out of my arse- and I’m being strictly metaphorical here- if I have some input to get the gears whirring.

For a while it’s just been fuck all.

The last eventful thing that happened was a visa run to Bangkok. I only started to write about that but didn’t finish it (you’ll find that’s a theme around here and in my life more pointedly). I hope to get it down and then up before I blow this place.

Perhaps after that I will detail the bizarre love triangle and hideous work experience of Vietnam last year and then a new job where I found out the owner was convicted paedophile back in the USA. Clearly I couldn’t work with him due to that, but needed the money. Immediately after, he found he couldn’t work with me either due to a visa run to Cambodia that went horribly wrong in a me getting absolutely fucked up accidentally in Phnom Penh direction.

He won briefly by firing me but went bankrupt a few months later. Fuck the cunt.

I have learnt a lot of valuable lessons the last two years, even if I haven’t explicitly referenced them in the blog. The main thing is, I woke up to the fact I was surrounded by manipulative liars and entities masquerading as people who had been feeding off me for years. Decades, maybe.

To save a very strong and important friendship, I decided to make Truth my guiding light and anything that fell short of truth could not and would not be any longer tolerated in those I choose to associate with.

That said, this is all a work of fiction, right.

I’m actually stuck in Slough and staring at a ring road.

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6 Comments

  1. From the outset, please forgive anything that sounds like criticism – it’s not meant to be, only a mere observation.

    Whilst I think your being a tad harsh on yourself about the content of the site, it has been a bit thin – granted. Hats off to you though, as I haven’t got anything like the patience or creativity to do anything similar.

    I can empathise with you currently, as I’m going through a bit of a chod time of life – new job that I don’t particularly like etc. I can’t help but feeling that mine are 1st world problems though and so undeserving of any sympathy.

    The ‘bizarre love triangle, bit of your post has intrigued me – do tell!

    Regards the nonce – ain’t Karma a bitch. I hope the cunt has topped himself.

    I have to say that I’m learning (albeit slowly) a similar lesson to you about people in general – many are pathological liars, almost Janus-like. Hidden agendas (mainly based around greed), a trait common in Thatcher’s children. Treat everyone with suspicion… especially strangers. It’s probably worse where you are as a foreigner, as you’ll naturally gravitate towards other ‘westerners’, some of whom may be out there for perhaps ‘unsavoury’ reasons.

    Ah! Then I get to the end of your post and find that it’s all a dream – phew! I think?!

    Slough – now there is a place that I feel is undeserving of its reputation. I lived there (well in a village outside anyway) for a year and have to say I thought it was great. Close to London, motorways, Heathrow; relatively cheap to live there, lots of Eastern European ladies as inhabitants – who would be twice as attractive if they ever dared smile! Enjoy!

  2. The Slough bit was added to freak people out. I actually AM in a small city in the remote south of Myanmar / Burma. Even fellow TEFLers- and we’re a hardy lot- wonder how I’ve managed to stick it out. Money mainly, as I get a fairly tidy sum when I finish here in two weeks.

    There’s nothing wrong with Slough although it has an ugly bus station. I just thought it sounded funny.

  3. Aye I suspected it was said in jest, the Slough bit. The bus station is a new wavy steel and glass structure now anyhow – it changed a few years back.

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