My bucket list has sprung a leak.
I’d fix it with Blu Tak but they don’t sell it much in Asia and, ironically, Blu Tak wasn’t on my bucket list anyway.
So far, swimming with turtles, eviscerating James Corden and inventing a new smell have all dribbled out over the bathroom floor.
I’m gonna need some caustic lime or something for Corden. He’s way too blubbery to push down the shower outlet in his current state. Something industrial to properly dissolve that lard-ass.The last thing I need is his decaying carcass blocking up the drains and alerting the neighbours.
Besides, his utterly revolting and nauseous stench will totally mask out that new smell I’d been planning on. Although a lot more subtle than Corden’s rotting remains, to the olfactory aficionado Make Yourself Uncomfortable is the thinking, smelling person’s Carpool Karaoke except without the singing or celebrities. There’s also no James Corden, which more than balances out the general lack of celebrity guests that have agreed to appear on Make Yourself Uncomfortable.
(Mainly Noel Edmonds, so far. And I’m not sure he really counts.)
“Hey gang- yes it’s me again, Noel Edmonds. I’ve been busy writing a book about cosmic ordering and numbers or something in time for the Christmas market. But let’s face it, it’s a pile of ghostwritten shit that will be in The Works discount bookstore on January 4th for 29p.
“You’d be far better off buying Ron Gridchart’s sensational book ‘Make Yourself Uncomfortable’ which is as brave and bonkers as that one-eyed guy in The Goonies.
“It’s available for £7.99 / $10.06 (plus P&P) at this link.”