Group Hugs

FAKE NEWS OR NEW FAKE?

Although it’s hard and becoming harder to verify whether Trump has actually said anything in his entire public life except, “You’re FIRED!” on TV show The Apprentice or “Urrrrrhhhhh.. u-huh,” on leaked videos of him doing some leaking himself- and not out of his eyes but out of his penis- and onto some alleged Russian prostitutes.

I’m realising now I really ballsed up the whole leaking thing in the last paragraph because I was trying to make some clever joke around the word ‘leak’ and the alleged videos of Mr Trump pissing on Russian call girls but it didn’t quite work out, did it; much like the Russian smear campaign thing generally. They’d have been better off in Langley if they had gone with poop for a smear campaign. That stuff smears, unlike piss. If your piss smears I suggest immediate medical advice.

‘Water sports’ is what they call it but the full details of what actually happens at these depraved pissfests would make actual water sports people like bald swimmer Duncan Goodhew either revolted or riveted. For the record, I have no evidence or otherwise of Goodhew’s involvement in sexual acts involving piss but he was the only aquatic athlete I could think of and, looking at all the ex-footballers who are enthusiastic doggers these days, who knows.

Re: Tom Daley- I’d be surprised if he wasn’t gobbling down piss by the yard.

As for the above pic of Trump, and without consulting Snopes or any other reputable (ha) fact (ha) checking (ha) service:

I’d say, judging by the spelling of ‘centre’ that this is either an obviously fake quote or actually is taking into account his European ancestry and therefore the possibility that he might either spell things in British English way or just can’t spell at all- even when he’s just talking and not just tweeting it.

In this case- well, I made the quote up and stuck it on the picture. I hoped it would go viral but I was confused and confusing in my meme magic (much like the entire American political system these days) and well whatever.

You’d like a conclusion too, huh?

Demanding, frankly.

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