I didn’t want to write about you
For you monopolise everything I think;
When I slow down to pin my heart to a page
I find the ink resembles you.
The window mists up: I write our names
To find they bleed to death up there
And sudden clouds burst into view.
Now it seems I’ve lost my fifteen minutes
And am trapped in a silver lining-less world
Where day lazily blurs into day.
Late afternoon becomes early evening
Without a single scrap of meaning.
Hours are nonsense without you.
I never chose to feel like this
But something inside I cannot control
Turned wheels until the floodgates opened.
No doubt tomorrow I’ll hide from you,
Bury my head in those I know;
Try to forget you ever existed
Or how close our souls meshed.
And there’ll be no doubt tomorrow
Just what we think we’re fighting for
And I’ll find that you were nothing more
Than a hook to fix ideas upon.
No doubt tomorrow when the room heats up
I’ll find your name has been erased
And I’ll see instead a human face;
Free from what we self-inflict,
Pretending that the pain has meaning
And can define its own
Well thought-out case.