Why is it when you take a flight on a plane it’s easy and you don’t have to do much except sit back and relax yet when you take a flight of stairs it’s really strenuous and you might need […]

Bye, Mutie!

More Hollywood Babble-on: Dexy’s Midnight Runner’s Kevin Rowland is remaking his top 80s hit ‘Come On Eileen’ as a Bukkake video for the Japanese retro crowd. No word yet on whether the original Eileen will reprise her role but let’s […]

Mo Fo

UK Election: If only Mo Mowlam had been born ‘Mo Fowlam’, her tabloid name would have been ‘Mo Fo’. She probably wouldn’t even be dead in that reality- she’d be Prime Minister. Her campaign slogan could have been “Mo Fo, […]

Between Myselves

I wish my evening and morning selves could agree on who does the tidying up as neither wants to. My current night self is thinking “Why should I?” even though it’s the one who made the mess. No wonder my […]

More International Audience

To gain a more international audience, I was going to start posting in Spanish as well as English. But then I remembered I don’t know any Spanish. I don’t know any Spanish people either. Or even Hispanics.

Fat People

Fat people used to be great!- remember Shirley Crabtree (Big Daddy, of course) and Hattie Jacques? They spellbound the nation with their entertaining ways. These days it seems all fat people want to is just sit around with diabetes watching […]

Balls Hell that Ends Bell

I was waiting to cross the road when this 30 stone fat bastard on a mobility scooter thoughtlessly glanced my testicles with the invalids handlebars. I knew immediately I had been struck, however there was a ten second delay before […]

Value Your Kids

People around me talking about how much they value their kids. It’s nice to hear but all a bit nebulous- how can one ever really know exactly how much worth their children have? Well, I for one sold mine to […]