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Experiencing Technical Difficulties

“Christ, what do all these things do?” Stratford-Upon-Avon, 1997-1998 Once upon a time in a land far, far away (Warwickshire) I used to work as a theatre technician. I don’t mean a medical theatre- all clamps and tubing and bits […]

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Sick as a Dog

Stratford-upon-Avon, 1996. Following University, I went to live at my mother’s. This was in recognition of the twenty quid she had sent each week, which kept body and soul together, during my last term. My father had been no use […]

The West Wing

Leicester 1998-1999. The worst room I have ever stayed at was in Seymour Street, a road in Leicester’s Highfields area, a notorious dump just at the back of the train station. Here, crack whores would strut their stuff on every […]

Noel Edmonds #1

Noel writes: “You know, I was contemplating before recording the latest Dole Or No Dole, a show all about picking the right number,  how numbers can mean different things at different times. Numbers can be highly personal. Like when I […]

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Horse Medicine

  Thailand, October 2001. I had flown into Chiang Mai from Chaweng. Three weeks of being encamped at Paradise Bungalows, Hat Rin, home of the legendary Full Moon parties, had destroyed my fragile ego. That and the thick, rich mushroom […]

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Bertie Bleep Shags Sheep

One from the vaults: a rather childish cartoon I drew for a Viz-style comic that I used to make and sell at school in 1990-1991, along with some like-minded contributors. At the time, we were terrified of the teachers finding […]

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Friend to the Stars #1: Jamie Oliver

Jamie shows exactly what he had to do to break into television  Jamie Oliver, French for ‘I like Oliver’, is a billionaire television chef with a chain of successful restaurants, a hot wife and a much-discussed disgust for Chicken McNuggets. […]

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Emissaries

When I was nine, growing up in The Butchers Arms, Mickleton, a religious sect from California moved into the large property over the road. This was a rather grand building, whose privet hedges kept my sister’s stick insects in food. […]