Panda Porn

Pitch for Dragon’s Den:

porno for pandas.

They’re not very randy are they, being more into chewing and chewing bamboo than getting it on with any hot pandas that happen to be about.

So get them into panda porn and they should end up hornier than a tree surgeon’s hands.

However, there is the risk that they might just end up setttling for a panda wanking frenzy- assuming their little arms will reach- rather than go getting it on with the lady pandas being shipped in at great expense from other zoos.

Pandas- sort it OUT! You’re so lacking in mojo you DESERVE to go extinct.

Winner Dragon’s Den idea though, right?

I’m asking ten mil for a ten per cent stake

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UPDATE

It’s been pointed out to me that ‘panda porn’ is very much a thing and is shown to captive pandas in the hope it will stir them to something more sexy than sucking on a bamboo stick.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panda_pornography

In the wild, you know, they have massive panda gangbangs where one female lets partner after partner fuck her senseless for hours at a time.

Sadly, I don’t have any links to share of that. I’d probably be shut down if I did and I did, in any case.

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