The Scab is, and always has been, a notorious dive pub in my hometown in England- a place I left twenty years ago.
Recently, I have been receiving emails from some of its regulars that confirm things in the UK have not only gone, to quote Richard Littledick, to hell in a handbasket, but that Hell is actually a place where gangbangs happen regularly on the pool table (the ‘pool’ being actually diseased semen glooping into the pockets) and the all-you-can-eat buffet comprises of human flesh when the regulars are spent.
Meanwhile, crack cocaine and crystal meth are smoked in the toilets between people’s grand-daughters being violated with pool cues and two-for-one offers on IPA and Ruddles Bitter.
Frankly, I don’t know who is going to Hell quicker- them for sending me this or me for publicising it. But fuck it. Seems to be the way things are sliding these days.
In no particular order, let me present Nocturnal Sex Fiend:
and Divine Porcine:
(Don’t worry- it’s satire. I hope.)
Are you pregnant?
Get yourself down The Scab.
There’s a nice bit of fluff on all fours completely nude, moist ready for a good seeing too.
It’s lit up on the pool table squealing.
Nocturnal Sex Fiend just violated her with 2 pool cues.
He rammed a black 8 ball in her gob to stretch her out so its good n’ready.
Come on, a few beers, some large scotches.
Get you knob nicely moisturised.
Smooth & shiny.
The Scab caters for all.
Fine dining all u can eat English buffet.
Push button coffee.
Pool, darts & a digital jukebox.
Exotic French beverages for the discerning classy type. Pernod, Advocat.
We’ve drugs, hookers & live sex shows for every perversion.
I know you want it, the Scabs got it & more.
If your gonna get a blow job in a public toilet your going to need 2 shopping bags.
The catcher sits on the toilet whilst the pitcher straddles the bowl with feet in each of the bags so it looks like there’s only 1 in the cubicle.
Saves getting busted for a lewd act!
A – Road to Salvation
B – Highway to Hell
A = nice polite decent dry clean SSRI’s
B = Sex Narcotics Liquor. Excitement Hookers
I want B
Why can’t I have B
Old Divine has been busy.
He’s convalescing. A temporary repose due to a workplace injury.
200 pages into his autobiography.
Quite a read.
Not for the tame.
He’s a fucking animal!
There’s a bit that is especially tough.
To join his crew in the mid nineties you had to show devotion & commitment by “Tossing his Salad”.
This involved eating his arse out that was smothered liberally in tesco value crunchy peanut butter.
Every crunchy nutty morsel had to be consumed.
The ceremony was completed by swallowing his load. Deep throat.
Some poor Devils went through several disturbing attempts & never kept the load down.
A severe kicking resulted failure. Hospitalisation.
Perfect Day by Lou Reed is such beautiful lament for the addict.
Do u remember the BBC defiling it for children in need.
Sarcastic offer from Lou maybe.
Did Jimmy Savile & Gary Glitter get the Children in Need gigs?
Like lambs to the slaughter
A typical night at the scab involves taking crazy amounts of intoxicants then screwing a local whore in the toilets or someone’s back garden.
I fucked my mates granddaughter the other day.
Buy em a half & they’ll suck your cock.
You can defile them disgracefully for a hit.
Their at least 16, filthy, scabby crawling with lice.
A double is only £1.50 in the scab.
Some cheap crap you’ve never heard of.
Mixed with post mix red rola cola it goes down & does the job fucking your head up.
The whores wear mini skirts or tracksuit pants that lift up or pull down quickly.
Their usually wet with sticky mucus as their right slappers but a good gob of flob rubbed into the loose cunt makes penetration nice & greasy.
I like to empty my load inside them cos I’m a right bastard.
I produce bizarrely huge loads.
I can easily overfill a shot glass.
They have to put up with cum seeping out for hours staining their trackies & turning all stiff.
Sometimes you see it oozing slowly down their legs.
That always makes me feel warm with a sense of peace & well being.
6 of us fucked 1 on the pool table.
She did herself proud.
A talented giver & receiver.
A brilliant spit roast.
1 up the cunt, 1 up the arse.
2 in the mouth whilst downhill skiing.
The old wrinkly landlord was the last to cum so he had to lick up the mess.