If I was that Super Mario, I’d just give up on rescuing Princess Peach. She’s always in another castle after all. I’d probably settle for one of the Toads instead.
They’re androgynous and ubiquitous and always happy to oblige. Some of them have great advice too.
Though probably not genitals.
I don’t want you to think from this that I am a massively-deranged pervert, of course (a quick check of items in the site index will probably do that for you).
In fact, I am interested in experimenting with altered states of consciousness also.
In the case of toads, I used to regularly lick the reverse sides of them for my own reasons.
But then the Royal Mail made stamps self-adhesive, so that was that.
As for Bowser- one of David Icke’s reptilians or merely the Jungian shadow made manifest?
All will be made clear in my new self-help book “Solve Your Problems By Jumping on Their Heads Three Times” (once I add another 99,990 words to it).