The Dedicated Mr Lee

The dedicated Mr Lee, two times Most Excellent People’s Committee’s Grandmaster Flash, recognised for his enormous contribution towards sustainability on many fronts (and some backs), paused in his meticulous planning and surveyed his handiwork. He decided he had made the appropriate adjustments and that it was time to test out his theorising.

Once again, the fish flopped off the end and landed with a slap on the tiled marble floor of his panopticon playground.

“Damn! Broody fish not stay on end and suck!” he snapped.

He had been sure that electrician’s tape and a bit of Blu Tak scrounged from his secretary would do the job, but alas, no. Now that he had had his secretary fired (at by a missile) there was nobody to speak to about adhesive substances and he had no idea exactly where the stationary cupboard was.

The missile incident had generated a sound in his throat somewhere between a chuckle and a tickly cough but that was days ago and now he hadn’t had a fresh shirt or change of underpants for three days. He was thirsty too.

Using his technocratic expertise, he had managed to calculate the optimum amount of water to drink from the tank so that both he and the remaining fish survived long enough for at least one of them to give him a blowjob.

Although on paper the plan was foolproof, he had made several errors due to faulty reasoning and inexperience in real-world application. He had reasoned, for one, that his penis was big enough to ram an average-sized Shubunkin on the end and have it wriggle there helplessly- its death throes providing the only real diversion from the endless plains of drowned mice and butchered peasants.

The fish were still alive to be made dead, he had reasoned, and their expiration would be a masterclass in the noblest of deaths for the highest of causes- as improvised fishy fleshlights for technocratic relief.

He wondered, briefly, if his micro penis might be the root cause of his need for absolute control and efficiency before pushing the thought far, far down into the depths of his mind.

Then he wished he had ordered neon tetra fish instead of Shubunkins.

More chuckletime haha with Mr Lee:

The Technocratic Mr Lee

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