People around me talking about how much they value their kids.
It’s nice to hear but all a bit nebulous- how can one ever really know exactly how much worth their children have?
Well, I for one sold mine to Chinese organ traders years ago and their livers alone were enough to sustain a year-long crack habit.
The rest of the bits went on detox.
“Hey gang- yes it’s me, TV’s Noel Edmonds. I’ve been busy writing a book about cosmic ordering and numbers or something in time for the Christmas market. But let’s face it, it’s a pile of ghostwritten shit that will be in The Works discount bookstore on January 4th for 29p.
“You’d be far better off buying Ron Gridchart’s sensational book ‘Make Yourself Uncomfortable’ which is as brave and bonkers as that one-eyed guy in The Goonies.
“It’s available for £7.99 / $10.06 (plus P&P) at this link.”