Well Cum

As the audience for this site has increased a fair bit in the last few days, and to try to build on this before it fizzles away, here is my elevator pitch:


The site is generally dark humour / satire interspersed with some personal stories of what has been a colourful and deeply bizarre life. I didn’t go looking for weird. It came knocking.

I rejected conformity and trust in authority at a very tender age, seeing them as the imposed and self-serving narratives of those who seek to cage and control us.

Life is not a plantation and going along for the sake of getting along is a personal (and cowardly) choice, not an obligation.

I guess this makes me some kind of anarchist-libertarian but I tend to reject labels as an attempt to categorise and therefore pigeon-hole us.

Labels are for losers. The only thing that stays in a pigeon hole is pigeon shit.

I left the UK in 2004 in the aftermath of the neocon war of aggression in Iraq and am very glad I did so. I didn’t have an easy life at all there and the complacency of those around me who told me to shush and stop rocking the boat was frankly sickening.

Since then I have lived and worked in numerous countries in the Middle and Far East, with a brief stint back in Bristol where I found that I was now completely unemployable in the UK.

So be it.

Things have been way more interesting away from the TV and the supermarket two-for-ones in any case.

For new readers, here are the ten most popular (but not, IMO best) posts on this site:

The West Wing

(A deeply uncomfortable experience that may have been down to drux or demonic djinn. Fuck it. It’s a spooky story)

My Lovely Girlfriend

(A frankly stupid joke I made earlier this week which has now been viewed nearly 4,000 times.)

Wacky Krazyballs

(A cartoon I drew in the 90s whose popularity I suspect is mainly due to attempts to hack the site. Still, it’s not bad)

Apple Exclusive

(A satirical gushing piece I wrote after discovering an Apple-branded lighter in Vietnam)

Frozen Vaginas

(A news story I stumbled upon- there are some fucked up people out there)

Loony Choons

(My take on the Mandela Effect, pointing out a few anomalies)

Stand and Do Liver

(Part of an autobiography of my early 20s which I had to abort as too painful to continue with)


(A piss-take of the small village in the English Cotswolds in which I spent my childhood)

Pix Nix Time

(Some funny photos of bad English taken during my years of wandering)

Kim Kardashian’s Bum

(Did you know she never wipes it?)

There’s plenty of other good shit on here- please poke around. I’m not writing this as a personal catharsis. I have beer for that. It’s meant to entertain. I’m happy if it does; happier still if you buy a copy of my book. There are no adverts on here for a reason and, no, it’s not because you’re using an ad blocker.

It’s because I am not sucking the corporate cock.













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