Musical Doof
Somewhere out there tonight, Musical Youth are gigging. A back room of a pub in Slough or a lock-up garage in a South London back street. Now re-badged Musical Middle-aged People, the lies they told on Blue Peter have taken their […]
Civil Engineer
I met a Civil Engineer the other day. Very polite.
Mr Sandman
Mr Sandman- give me a dream. Not just sticky gunk in the corners of my eyes.
Them Greeks
If I were them Greeks, I wouldn’t want to waste what little money I had on smashing plates at weddings. I’d buy plastic ones that could be thrown and used again for future festivities.
Speaking Clock
I’m pretty sure there used to be a Speaking Clock. That said, I WAS doing a lot of acid at the time.
If That God
If that God is so short of money he has to go scrounging every Sunday, maybe he should try selling the Books of The Bible separately to his poor parishioners instead of just flogging them all in one expensive volume. Lets […]
Going Viral
Thought I was about to go viral earlier but it turned out to just be Smoker’s Cough.
Bananas in Pyjamas
Bananas in pyjamas* are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pyjamas are chasing teddy bears. This rather begs a question: how do they ensure their pyjamas don’t fall off during these activities with no obvious limbs to hold their […]
Dear Drear Shakespeare
If that William Shakespeare still wants people to go see his plays, he should cut down on all the words for one thing. A lot of those soliloquys could be done just with camera angles these days with maybe a […]