Musical Doof

Somewhere out there tonight, Musical Youth are gigging. A back room of a pub in Slough or a lock-up garage in a South London back street. Now re-badged Musical Middle-aged People, the lies they told on Blue Peter have taken their […]

Them Greeks

If I were them Greeks, I wouldn’t want to waste what little money I had on smashing plates at weddings. I’d buy plastic ones that could be thrown and used again for future festivities.

Buffering

I’m currently adjusting to life in Saigon. Weird, crazy shit has happened but I haven’t had sufficient distance from events to create a satisfactory narrative- and I think that’s one of the things a reader craves. Nor have I thought up […]

If That God

If that God is so short of money he has to go scrounging every Sunday, maybe he should try selling the Books of The Bible separately to his poor parishioners instead of just flogging them all in one expensive volume. Lets […]

Bananas in Pyjamas

Bananas in pyjamas* are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pyjamas are chasing teddy bears.   This rather begs a question: how do they ensure their pyjamas don’t fall off during these activities with no obvious limbs to hold their […]

Dear Drear Shakespeare

If that William Shakespeare still wants people to go see his plays, he should cut down on all the words for one thing. A lot of those soliloquys could be done just with camera angles these days with maybe a […]